Sometimes I feel so good that I want to high five the Sun but normally I just wish it would go supernova

A few days ago a friend of mine let me know about a part time job opening at his place and said the position was basically mine as long as I showed up

I was going to, then I had a conversation with my unemployment counselor/supervisor and we concluded that it would behoove me to stay on unemployment.

The reasoning being, if I take the job I’d make less weekly then I get from UI and I would also lose my medical insurance and since my health is not too great it’s smarter to keep on the track to health.

It sucks though, because I am always complaining about never being able to find work and twice now I’ve turned down friend’s offers to get me a job at theirs, because I’d make more on UI.

Even writing it down it sounds so fucking lazy and dishonest, but at the same time, why wouldn’t I take the option not work and make more than I would if I did work?

Idk, I’m conflicted. I want to get back to work, but it makes economic sense to stay on unemployment for the only two job offers I’ve ever gotten in the past like 6 months.

Maybe it’s because my back has been itchy for 3 days straight or maybe it’s because I’m on my man period (it’s a thing, look up IMS) but I’m just super ornery today and I hate everything

my brother can’t be in the same room with my father for more than 2 minutes without Christian devolving into a petty child and doing everything he can to hook my father into a fight

It’s fucking annoying and it ruins everything from family holidays to simple Wednesday afternoons

I’m so sick of it

So my dad’s been pitching this idea of moving with my mom and my sisters down to Georgia to live with his mother on her 4-5 acre property that is about 2/3s wooded and has a creek.

I was invited to move with them if they were to do this.

First thing I told my mom when she mentioned that was

“If I move down there with you guys, I’m living in the woods and growing loads of weed, I hope you know.”

and she said

“Go for it, it would be a waste of space if you didn’t.”

When I was a kid I wasn’t allowed to read Captain Underpants because it was bad for me.

Just got home from the unemployment office

Left there sad and frustrated and came super close to buying a pack of cigarettes but I didn’t and I’m proud of me

I was born at least 4 centuries too soon

Put me onboard a spaceship right now please, ok?

I’ll never be the same me that I was today

And maybe I’ll regret the lack of weightlifting, or the people I didn’t call, or the novel I left sitting in my head

but for now I don’t

A solid 80% of the reason I want to be a comedian is so that I can be friends with other comedians

When I get my tax return, do I buy a bunch of drugs and a dope ass computer, or a first-class one-way ticket to the west coast?

I would be so powerful if I weren’t so broken and lazy

I’m at that point where compliments only serve to make me feel worse about myself

I’ve barely left my room in the past 3 days and I wish I was dead :)

yolo

Guys I’m smoking again :(
Working on my 3rd pack in two weeks